Maybe your here because based off the title you think you can relate, your somewhat curious, or think this entire thing is insane.
For whatever reason you decided to read this post your still giving the topic some insight :) So welcome. I'm glad you came...
Okay so now think about your first crush that you've ever had. Whether you were in pre-k, elementary, middle or even high school. Think about how you felt and why you liked them. Was your stomach constantly in knots when you seen them or heard their name? (yeah, me too) So now I want you to think about your next few crushes you've had after that throughout the years till this very moment. Some of them probably super innocent some probably not. So out of the innocent, yet not so innocent interactions you've had over the years......who's the one that for some odd reason that just stuck, even till this day? Whether the person knows or not, whether you guys may talk or not, or whether it's only you feeling this way who is the person that comes to mind? Okay..... so now my next question to you is why?
Maybe you and this person share(d) great chemistry. Whether it's things you two share in common, the ability to keep a conversation, or just when you talk to them....you feel like you don't have to be anyone but yourself. A spirit can feel like it's been with you all your life when you run into the right one. Maybe this person supports you and even inspires you. The thing is, most times people always intend for these crushes to turn into something because of the idea that it's readily available, but if it's not broken why try to fix it? I feel like everyone has fell short somewhere by taking things much further with a "crush" which ended up ruining not only the relationship, but also the friendship in the end. Crushes are meant to be innocent, mysterious, but also fun. Sometimes depending on how serious, they can also be scary because, you give yourself the green light to lose your identity in something that isn't and bend over backward for this person that doesn't have any right to all of your attention.
Everything and everyone seems to look much better when you don't have anyone else to look at on a consistent basis. If lately your crush has all of a sudden been looking quite more attractive than usual take the time to figure out if your just alone. I say alone instead of lonely because being alone does not mean you have to be lonely. Choose your isolation, and enjoy the silence. Learn to be cool with yourself. Figure out your sense of purpose. The last thing you want to do is find your purpose while with someone. What happens when you wake up after you find your purpose and now you realize you gave someone the counterfeit version of yourself? (Sad story bro) Usually if you know something......you know. If you don't know then that means that's not it. That's for people, life, and in general. Know what your giving someone before you give it to someone. Don't be a vacuum to everything that comes your way. Not all attention is good attention. Your time is too valuable and precious. Invest it wisely.
So to the crush that never went away........I'm choosing me again until you can spell again backwards. When I'm whole, come find me :)
Niyah
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