It's super heartfelt to see how everyone from all over the world has come together during this pandemic from healthcare workers, social workers, teachers, flight attendants, grocery store workers, etc. The thing which I think they all shared in common during this time was their dedication and desire to help even during the most crucial of times.
With the love and dedication that I have for my blog, I wanted to take something that I enjoy doing and make it refreshing for you during this time. Whoever you may be.
May this be one of the many reads you have during this time to enlighten your spirit and uplift your mood. Stay safe. Wash your hands..and don't touch your beautiful face ♡
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Since we're all currently on "quarantine duty" I figured to drop you guys with something worth reading to help the time pass. This time I actually have something worth reading for the ladies AND for my 3% male readers lol. Whether you're currently dealing with someone, just broke things off between you and your quarantine bae, or happily single....this is for you.
Now....I’m no relationship therapist, expert, or scientist I'm just your regular everyday girl speaking from experience. I was back and forth about how appropriate I wanted to be for the sake of family members that may read. Or just anybody at all. But I feel like nobody ever wants to discuss how ghetto this whole dating thing is. It's the most superb ghetto I've ever seen in my entire life. So quite frankly I'm just here to tell my truth. So to my grown, and sexy this one is for you.
D A T I N G
So first things first, what is dating? Especially now with things being how they are in today's generation. The trajectory of dating has changed so much from what it used to be, that often times I feel that people confuse dating with being in an actual relationship. The two are very similar yet so different. Dating is the casual process of getting to know a person OR people at the same time. During this time you're figuring out what it is you like versus don't like, things you're willing to accept and/or tolerate from a person, and overall you're getting to see what's out there. (Which is not much by the way lol) With dating there is no exclusive commitment and BOTH people are aware of that until stated otherwise. However, in my opinion, the difficulty with dating these days is the lack of consideration, communication, and consistency that comes with it. More often than not, people are constantly introducing a vibe which they cannot maintain making you fall for a persons potential instead of their reality. When you fall for potential, you misread situations and give them more meaning than what they actually are. We're living in a time where "ghosting" is so normalized and people are so quick to cut things off with no interest to see where the misunderstanding may have happened. Anyone who is interested in you will be deliberate in their actions and intentions with every move. The exact moment you EVER have to wonder.......it's dead.
I decided to ask a few of my good friends (both male & female) what they found difficult about dating and here were some of their responses:
R E L A T I O N S H I P S
These days I feel like relationships are so hidden and underground for the sake of trying to keep people out of ones personal business. The idea is, if something or someone special matters to you, keep it private because it lasts longer that way. There's actually a lot of joy that comes with a private life so I get it. Yet, I also feel like were in this era of "hiding the significant other" because of how normalized shady/sneaky behavior has become. The last thing somebody wants to be is anyone's fool, so if you're going to take a "L" at least do it in private right? When deciding to be in a relationship, you're agreeing that you're no longer your own commitment/priority. You now have someone else's feelings, emotions, and needs to tend to as well as your own. You have someone who is available to teach you about yourself but help you grow at the same time. With that being said, require that person to love you and to love you loudly. If you find someone who genuinely and purely loves you for you, and you can really FEEL it, don't let it go. For nothing or for nobody. Despite the rough days.....a relationship is a partnership that should entice you. Make you feel lighter. Make sure that person chooses you will continue to choose you every time.
Two questions you should ask yourself before exclusively committing to someone:
1. Does this person add or subtract from my life?
2. Am I compromising anything that is important to me in order to focus on this person?
Anything that isn't serving purpose to you in the most positive way shouldn't require a second of your time. Continue to always flirt and date your person. Continue to do the things you did to get them in the first place. ALWAYS.
S E X
There's so much societal judgement placed behind sex limiting people from being open and expressive of what it is they want. Be sexy but not a hoe. Friendly but not flirtatious. Loving but not too affectionate. So basically I’ll put it to you like this........anyone reading this working 40+ hours a week (or working period) should never.......ever be settling for half ass sex. That goes for both ladies and gentlemen. Go get you some and actually make it worth some. Be assertive and confident about what it is you want and expect that every time. You'll actually be surprised by the results the moment you start to proclaim the sex you know you willingly deserve.
There’s no reason anyone should be out here settling for meaningless encounters that aren’t giving them flashbacks during the middle of the day. Because sweetheart........if you aren’t getting flashbacks during the day in the middle of a work meeting.......make sure to tell him/her don’t let the door hit you on the way out. (really, not really lol)
Don’t ever feel guilty for expecting and demanding what you feel you deserve. The human body was meant and created to satisfy and explore. So how can you feel satisfaction without exploration?
I would say I started to be more aware of what I wanted maybe last year. I've always been a person to be very open and vocal about things, so what made this any different? The crazy thing is, the very moment you figure out what works for you, you start to wonder why you were tolerating anything else in the first place. If you wouldn't settle for mediocrity in any aspect of your life...why not place the same requirement and expectation in the bedroom? You are more than deserving of genuine affection, love, and multiple outbursts in the process. #ILoveItHere
We all have the right to feel good sexually and there’s no reason to ever feel weird about that. So like Nike said.......Just Do It. Of course it would be very irresponsible of me to not mention practicing safe sex in the midst of hyping you up to GET YOU A PIECE! So above all else, please be safe in everything you do. Never allow temporary temptation lead to a lifetime of regret.
Until next time........
-Niyah ♡
x.o.
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